Time Mismatch Between Male and Female Orgasm
All too often, the duration of sexual intercourse depends heavily on how long it takes the man to ejaculate. As every sexually unsatisfied woman will tell you, this wouldn’t be much of a problem provided that men were able to resist the need to ejaculate prematurely.
As you can see from the graph, roughly 3 minutes is the average arousal time it takes for a man to reach his climax and ejaculate. Men’s sexual arousal works kind of like an ON/OFF light switch. Every young man perfectly understands that and knows how easy it is to ejaculate in the matter of a few minutes.
Women on the other hand, take a much longer time to get sexually aroused. They require roughly 13 minutes (often times >20 min) to slowly build up and reach their first orgasmic climax. As opposed to men, women who have reached their first orgasm, are able to experience further multiple orgasms throughout the sexual intercourse provided the man can go the full distance.
From a timing perspective, the implication is that the orgasmic peaks for men and women are way apart. This time mismatch between the male and female orgasm is probably why so many women feel unsatisfied/unfulfilled/unsatiated after sex. Men, on the other hand, couldn’t care less about that because for all they know – they had fun, they ejaculated = Sex was awesome (apparently)!
Male Ejaculation Drains Life Energy
Besides understanding that premature male ejaculation leaves most women sexually unsatisfied, men also have to question themselves whether ejaculation per se is the ultimate end goal of sex.
The ancient practice of Indian Tantra taught men about the importance of Ejaculation Mastery. Being able to voluntarily control ejaculation served to prolong the act of love-making. Moreover, male practioners of Tantric sex also believed that ejaculation represented a great drain on physical energy. They sought to ejaculate as infrequently as possible and instead divert the stored up energy to energy chakras that would get them closer to enlightenment.
It turns out, Steve Jobs was also a Tantric practioner and ‚wanted Tantric sex in the garden shed‘. And Sting remarked to his fans that „this evening [his 60th birthday] has been almost as pleasurable as a 12-hour session of tantric lovemaking with my wife, Trudie.“
Orgasm Doesn’t Have to Equal Ejaculation
I would bet 99% of men think that ejaculation is the same as orgasm. Both these concepts are considered synonymous, equivalent and interchangeable. When men reach their orgasmic peak, they will most lilely ejaculate as a result as they have surpassed the so-called „Point-of-No-Return“. When men surpass this point, they ejaculate because they are no longer able to voluntarily withhold the release of their sperm.
Per se there’s nothing wrong with ejaculation coinciding with the orgasm. But wouldn’t it be awesome for men if they could experience multiple orgasms in one sex session while also leaving the lady completely satisfied?
Again, the practice of Tantric sexuality teaches that orgasm and ejaculation can be separated from each other and experienced at separate times. If a man learns how to gain control over his ejaculation, it can help him reach multiple orgasms during. In the following, I have summarised a few techniques that Tantric practioners have utilised over the millenia to master ejaculation.
Techniques to Master Ejaculation
1) Squeeze Pubococcygeal (PC) muscle: Squeezing the PC muscle right before imminent ejaculation is one of the most potent techniques one can employ to prevent ejaculation and work towards multiple orgasms. The more you train it, the better you can control it. Therefore, squeeze it 100-200 times during the day.
2) Start-and-stop-technique: As you feel that you are about to ejaculate, Tantra practioners recommend simply stoppping any kind of movement/ friction and allowing the feeling to fade by taking deep breaths. It may seem weird to abruptly stop, but your partner will thank you later as she notices that your continence increased.
3) Interrupted urination: The idea is to urinate in short jet bursts. Rather than peeing with no pause, try voluntarily interrupting the jet and holding with 2-sec pauses in between. Tantric belief is that if you can control urinary potential, you will also be able to control sexual potential.
4) 3-Finger-Squeezing: the idea here is to use three fingers and apply pressure to the area between the anus and scrotum shortly before imminent ejaculation. The mechanical pressure on the urethra (=tube which transports semen) prevents the flow lowing of semen.
These are the few techniques that I have personally started practicing on a daily basis. For the sake of your own and your partner’s increased sexual pleasure, learn how to master your ejaculation as well.